Dazzled by a Star

I’m in Burbank for a technical class, so I thought I’d go down to Hollywood to see what there is to see. I parked for what most places charge for a lobster dinner and then walked up and down Hollywood Blvd. Crowds had gathered near the Chinese Theater for the premier of what is sure to be a classic hit movie Drag Me to Hell or some such title. Bright lights had been set up and red carpet rolled out for the imminent arrival of the famous, blond teen starlet, ?? . . . I have no idea what her name is, but here picture was festooned everywhere. Soon she would arrive in a stretch limo to be dragged or drug (or some such verb) inside.

Most people, given the opportunity to catch a glimpse of a Hollywood starlet would have waited for hours, or perhaps minutes, but I am not most people. I moseyed onward, glancing at the stars beneath my feet. I decided to take a picture with the digital camera that I so often forget is included in my phone’s features. But of which star? Who among all this fame and fortune deserves my attention and devotion? After waiting 54 years for this privilege, which of all these well trodden stars should I capture and cherish in my memory and share with my friends and family?

And there it was.

This should make you green with envy.

It is a far, far better thing that I do

I volunteered to bring English food to a church event, so, which of the following delicacies would you prefer to sample?

1. Bubble and Squeak
2. Beans on Toast
3. Steak and Kidney Pie
4. Toad in the Hole
5. Yorkshire Pudding (Just remember: Yorkshire Pudding is to Pudding as Basset Hound is to Turnip)
6. Bangers and Mash
7. Traditional English Breakfast: Pasty, bland sausage (if you cook these sausages too fast you understand why they’re called “bangers”); cold, burnt toast with marmalade; fried egg still swimming in lard; fried tomatoes; room temperature milk; and what the English smilingly refer to as “orange juice”
8. Trifle
9. Curry – from the colonies and which actually contains spices
10. Fish and Chips, wrapped in newspaper (not the Sun) and doused with salt and malt vinegar - with a pickled onion on the side
11. Squash and Biscuits
12. Tea (without the tea)
13. Brussels Sprouts, boiled to perfection